I remember during field hockey practice a few years ago, a girl on my team was talking about a certain guy who would pick her up at home and take her out for ice cream.
At least that’s what she told her parents.
Really, the two friends would drive somewhere, park and make out.
She and this guy weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. They were “friends with benefits.”
When teens talk about the phrase “friends with benefits,” the definition is understood: It’s a friendship between a guy and a girl who share some of the closeness of a boyfriend and girlfriend, meaning they make out, or even have sex.
And they don’t have to worry about being exclusive. They can have multiple friends with multiple benefits.
Anthony Daniels, 19, of San Jose, describes friends with benefits like this: “Mess around with other people and not have to worry about being tied down.”
For many teens, a friends-with-benefits relationship sounds appealing at first, because there are no strings attached. That is, until feelings get involved.
I’ve seen with my friends how this so-called relationship often ends in heartbreak. It starts with the thrill of physical activity and often ends in an unexpected emotional downfall, because someone’s feelings get hurt.
I’ve seen this happen. Repeatedly.
A female friend of mine has been involved in a friends-with-benefits relationship for years, beginning when she was a freshman. I’ve witnessed how happy the guy makes her — they go to dances, to dinner and to the movies. But I’ve also seen how he makes her cry. As part of their relationship, he gets to be with other girls, although he discourages her from seeing other guys.
My friend acknowledges she can’t get mad at him for being with other girls because she knew from the start what she was getting herself into.
It’s sad.
Most of the time, the girl in a friends-with-benefits relationship ends up suffering.
Sure, there are a few sensitive guys out there who want more than sex from a relationship, or who don’t want sex without love, or who don’t want sex at all.
But seriously, how many boys would pass up free sex?
Sex is something very intimate and precious. It should be shared only with someone you love, as long as that person loves you back.
If teenagers decide to be friends with benefits, they should seriously realize the type of situation they could get themselves into. If not, they’re likely setting themselves up to get hurt.