Growing up with cancer: Learning harsh lessons

Kathy Gordon remembers vividly what it felt like when she was rushed to the hospital with a temperature of 104 and swollen lymph nodes. For a split second, she thought, "Are you going to tell me I'm going to die?"
The doctor told Kathy she had cancer. And dying was a possibility.

She was 12 years old.

"It felt as though I was on a roller coaster without my seat belt," said Kathy, now 17, who lives in Dixon, Calif., near Sacramento.

Before being diagnosed with acute lymphoma, Kathy was like so many other 12-year-olds; she loved basketball, roller skating, running around with friends and going to the mall. After she was told she had cancer, all Kathy wanted to do was try her best to prolong her life.

Kathy remembers the first few weeks after being diagnosed as a whirlwind. There were frequent check-ups, blood drawing and even spinal taps.
Then came chemotherapy. She lost her hair. Though that's a tough thing to deal with at 12, Kathy took it in stride because her family and friends were so supportive.

To many people, cancer is categorized as an illness for adults, and the cancers that attack children are different from the ones adults get, according to the National Childhood Cancer Foundation.

San Jose's Justin Mickelson was 17 when he was diagnosed with cancer. He's in remission. Photo by Gabrielle Finncutter

One in every 330 children in the United States develops cancer before the age of 19, according to NCCF data.

While adult cancers are primarily those of the lung, colon, breast, prostate and pancreas, childhood cancers are mostly those of the white blood cells (leukemias), brain, bone, the lymphatic system, and tumors of the muscles, kidneys and nervous system.

Most adult cancers result from lifestyle factors, such as smoking, diet, occupation, and other prolonged exposure to cancer-causing agents. The causes of most childhood cancers are not yet known, and children frequently have a more advanced stage of cancer when they are first diagnosed.

Andrea Hoeke, of San Jose, was three weeks shy of her 19th birthday when she was diagnosed with leukemia in 1988. She has been in remission for almost 14 years. But she knows what it's like to be a kid with cancer, and she has some words of wisdom for other young people who get sick.

"Never, ever ask, 'why me?' There is no answer to that question when diagnosed with cancer," she said. "And feeling sorry for yourself is bad on your body, physiologically, so don't feel sorry. Get mad and fight the cancer."

Hoeke, now 33, raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by running benefit marathons. She does it, she said, because being a kid with cancer is really scary, and she wants to do what she can to make that experience easier for other young people.

"I was 18 and I understood everything I had to go through," she said. "But what about the children who can't understand that the chemo that makes them feel horrible is for their own good? By taking part in raising money for research, I am hoping that some day we can promise our children who suffer with this disease that they will go home and live a normal life, and we promise the cancer will never come back."

"You don't think it's going to be cancer, and you're shocked," said Mickelson, who has been in remission since October. Photo by Gabrielle Finncutter.

Experts say researchers are working hard to find treatments and a cure for childhood cancers. And they acknowledge that young people with cancer face special challenges.

" They are not getting into the cancer mainstream," said Dr. Denman Hammond, founding president of the NCCF. Teenagers, especially, are not being referred to special clinics and treatments that could help them with their cancer as often as they should be. Hammond said that often, children see their regular doctors, who don't always know the best course of treatment for cancer.

But there is good news, Hammond said. Today, 75 percent of children with cancer are being cured because of advancements in treatments.

Justin Mickelson of San Jose was 17 when he suffered back pain from the type of bone cancer he had. Now 19, Mickelson struggled most with trying to stay strong when he was sick, he said. Mickelson said it was shocking to be diagnosed.

"You don't think it's going to be cancer, and you're shocked," said Mickelson, who has been in remission since October. "You're watching everyone else have a good time. The chemo makes you really sick. I couldn't even walk."

Kathy now tells the stories of her illness with humor. But there were many struggles.

She lost some friends, who believed she could be contagious. But Kathy said that caused her to cherish the friends that have stayed by her side even more. And even though she was going through cancer treatments at the time, she was still a teenager. Kathy still excitedly talks about a time when a boy she had a crush on came by her house to see how she was doing after she hadn't been at school for a couple of days.

For a while, at least, she didn't think about the cancer but about the sweet gesture made by the young man.

Looking back, Kathy can't believe what she's gone through, but it has made her pledge to live life to the fullest. Now in remission for two years, she enjoys going to the mall, visiting her grandmother and swimming.

Kathy's family and friends helped her get through the experience with acute lymphoma and the chemo treatment.

"Life goes on," she said.